This
is the second part of my previous post “Why Hypno-birthing Works”, featuring my
hypno-birth teacher, friend and mentor Ms Di Bustamante, owner and director of
Parent Link.
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| Di, Owner and Director of ParentLink |
Meeting Di for the first time at her lovely home one Saturday afternoon in September 2011, I have to admit that I was intimidated at hello. She spoke with calm certainty – not the I-know-it-all sort of way but reminiscent of people driven by deep convictions. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one. On the way home, my husband also expressed concern that we might feel ‘pressured’ with great birth expectations and would be up for disappointment if things don’t go according to plans.
This initial apprehension however, quickly
went away as soon as we started our first class. She could have not stressed enough on giving
back the power to women on how they desire to birth, of knowing one’s comfort
level when it comes to medical intervention based on informed decision, of
making sure the husband is actively involved every step of the way, and of
building our confidence (understanding how our bodies work) in a very loving and affirmative
way. Her passion to support expecting
mothers achieve empowering and peaceful births that they dream of (and
deserve!) is undeniable. I had a very
good feeling then that she will become more than just a hypno-birth teacher to
me.
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| Di teaching our husbands how to do light massage |
I was absolutely right! A year and a half later after giving
successful natural birth to my second daughter, she continues to be an
inspiration as I advocate natural birth, breastfeeding and natural
parenting. In fact, one of the most
profound things I have learned about parenting comes from her when she shared,
“If you want to change something in your child, change yourself first”. This stuck to me and constantly reminds me
that whenever I see something in my girls that need changing, I need to look at
myself first.
Her life story also resonates well to a
professional turned work-at-home mom like me.
After spending twenty years in administrative management with ROLM
Corporation, IBM and Siemens, she made a drastic career change after the birth
of her daughter. She had spent her
pregnancies on bed rest and when she arrived in Singapore as a trailing spouse,
she had time to research what had happened.
The knowledge propelled her to complete a training and certification as
a doula and childbirth educator with Childbirth International. Now, she is a Regional Liaison and faculty
member of Hypnobirthing Institute.
I had the privilege of catching up with her
and she shares her thoughts on hypno-birthing and natural birth:
1. Can you tell us more about ParentLink and
Hypnobirthing?
ParentLink has
been around since 1998, the first independent childbirth education centre and
doula support organisation in Singapore.
We currently offer classes
in:
Preconception
Planning, Childbirth
Preparation, HypnoBirthing, First Aid, Yoga, Infant
Massage, Dunstan Baby Language, Conscious Parenting, and
Professional Training: Infant Massage, HypnoBirthing, Water Birth
Our services include:
Doula support,
Breastfeeding counselling, Pre and post natal massage including Jamu, Birth
Pool rental and sales, Birthing Stool rental, Hypnotherapy, and free gatherings
for parents for sharing of information and socialising
HypnoBirthing is a philosophy as well as techniques for parents to create a birth experience their baby would want. 5 classes of 2 1/2 hours each including the book by Marie Mongan, HypnoBirthing, 2 relaxation CDs and course handouts. Parents using HypnoBirthing techniques average 5 hours of labour, without the course the average is 12 hours.
2. Why should moms go for natural birth? What are
the benefits of natural birth?
In my classes, I
request parents to reflect on the beliefs about pregnancy, labour and birth.
Rarely does anyone mention the baby. The focus is on the mother's
experience. The baby is aware inside the womb - they are hiccoughing at 9
weeks, constantly tasting the amniotic fluid, seeing by 24 weeks, hearing by 20
weeks, babies are born with all 5 senses. Human babies are born prematurely
in brain development compared to other mammals. The next two years a lot
of connections are being made, synapses are firing. How we treat babies
at birth, how they are born, will cause different connections to be made.
Either fore brain connections (loving connections) or hind brain (survival connections).
At birth, after the baby emerges from her body, there is a
cocktail of love hormones secreted so baby is drawn to the mother and mothering
instincts kick in. That rush of hormones can only be described as
euphoria. If there is an epidural or caesarean birth, this reaction is
inhibited.
3. How do you best prepare for a natural birth?
I think the most
important is to learn to trust your body to what is was designed to do, birth
easily without peril or extreme pain - like all our other body functions.
Mothers need to learn to relax and let go. Fathers need to learn
how to support the mother.
4. Caesarean section births are on the rise
world-wide, why do you think this is so?
There are many
reasons for this. Electronic Fetal Monitoring is done routinely in many
hospitals and this is only 40% accurate. That means that 60% of the caesareans
due to fetal distress were not required. Unfortunately, there are still
some doctors that schedule caesareans due to their holiday schedule or desire
to be home for dinner or not to have to wake up in the middle of the night.
Some mothers do not understand the challenges they will face after
surgery - having a newborn that will need to feed every 1 1/2 to 2 hours whilst
they are trying to recover. The WHO states that only 12 -15% of all
labours require interventions. That includes all interventions, not caesareans.
In Singapore the public hospital section rate is 33%. Way over the
recommendations. Private hospitals no longer publish their statistics.
5. What do you think are the common myths/ misconceptions
on birthing?
That it is so
traumatic and dramatic that women must be anesthetized to get through
it. That hospitals are safer than home births.
6. My doctor’s nurse actually told me that Epidural
(anesthesia, most popular form of pain relief during labor) must be one of the
greatest inventions of the 21st century. What is your take on
that?
In some cases
this is true - usually women that have had their labours induced or augmented.
However, doctors fail to inform parents of the risks involved and women
routinely think this is a normal, natural birth. Labour is powerful, yes,
but it is the only physiological function we have that requires us to be
drugged. Animals are not drugged - what is it that makes us so different?
Women are duped into believing our entire lives that childbirth is
something to be dreaded and feared. Many women are now trying to take
back their body and is ability to labour without peril or extreme pain.
We need to educate our daughters and sons that this is a normal, lovely,
empowering experience - bringing a baby into the world. AND, I find it very
entertaining that women are told throughout their pregnancy to stay away from
drugs and the moment they head into hospital to birth they are asked - are you
ready to be drugged now?
7. Induction of labour is commonly done nowadays
when pregnancy goes beyond 4 days from EDD (estimated due date).
What advice do you have for mothers who are confronted with such proposal?
| With Di at a Small Business Group Workshop |
8. If you have to define birthing in one sentence,
what would it be?
Birth is a
normal, physiological event that women's bodies were designed to do; it is
glorious and amazing.
What a great way to look at birth! We are
so blessed to have Di around! Thanks Di!
| Crossing paths at a Small Business Group Workshop |
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